Threading and Drawing

It’s all right, you can look – I’m not even going to mention You Know What ... well not until the end, anyway. Lily is poorly so we’re off to Cardiff today to give her some TLC. Looking after Lily means I won’t be a danger to myself in Cardiff, which is what happened a couple of weeks ago.

I had a few minutes before I was due to meet Tom so thought I’d wander round the new John Lewis store to look at all the things I can’t afford. But before I got there, I noticed a bevy of gorgeous women offering some sort of beauty treatment. For someone who’s resisted all that stuff all their life (and it shows, dear reader), I’ve been slightly seduced by my ten pound manicure in New York so I decided to take a closer look.

‘You want eyebrows threaded?’ said one lovely lady. Did I? I’m pale-skinned with fine hair, not exactly a rain forest among women, yet when I took a close look at the rest of them with their perfectly-arched eyebrows, I had a real desire to be in the Beautiful Eyebrow Gang.
'I don’t think there’s much to work with, is there?’ I said.
‘Oh yes. Here, here, here and here.’ What? Had I developed a werewolf gene when I wasn’t looking? The first tweak wasn’t too bad, but as what felt like millions of tiny downy hairs rained down on me, it really began to sting. No wonder women all around me were getting up from their treatment with red eyebrows and streaming eyes!

Fortunately it was over with very quickly and I was looking forwards to seeing my beautiful new eyebrows when I heard my technician say, ‘And now I take out the greys!’ What greys? Okay there is a little patch, like a clump of daisies growing in the grass, where I tobogganed downstairs in a grocery box (not recently, I hasten to add) and went through a glass front door, splitting my eyebrow open, but I didn’t think it was a problem!

At last my eyebrows were deemed gorgeous enough for me to join the Beautiful Eyebrow Gang and I was shown the result. And I have to say my eyebrows have never looked so amazing – shaping two clumps of hair I’ve never even thought about before made a huge difference! Or so I thought, until I met Tom - who didn’t notice!

And finally...
To make up for boring the pants off everyone about Turning the Tide, I’m giving a copy away. Just use the contact button my website and I’ll stick the names on a piece of paper and get Tom to draw one at random at midday Sunday 13 June.

Painting is ‘Sea, Sky, Early Heather’ by Tom Tomos


Sarah Callejo said…
If your book is as funny as your post, I can't wait to read it.
Flowerpot said…
that's very brave Chris. I remember having mine done years ago and it was agony - I can still remember that horrible sting. Yeowch! Off to leave a message on your website - can't wait to read TTT. xxx
Milla said…
YOUCH! And then the buggers grow back again.
(oh, and how funny, flowerpot said Youch, too, but spelt it differently)
Fennie said…
I do think you might have posted your eyebrows. Or any eyebrows, come to that. Can you recognise someone from their eyebrows - that is if you are not Alistair Darling? Or Molière? Anyway think of it like this Chris, the tide has turned and you're doing this for your great public.
Lane said…
You were brave. And very remiss of Tom not to have noticed after all that pain;-)

TTT is ordered and hopefully winging it's way to me as we speak. Huzzah!
JJ Beattie said…
I have Dennis Healey eyebrows so I've plucked mine since I was fifteen but I've never had them threaded. I do bet your women friends notice something is different even if they can't quite put their fingers on what it is.
Debs said…
I've never had my eyebrows professional done, not that there's much there to work with, but it does sound amazing. How typical of a man not to notice :)
Sallys Chateau said…
You are funny, its all very de-rigueur here but I don't succumb to it all, highlights and cut every six weeks is bad enough. Off also to visit your website !!!
elizabethm said…
Synchronicity (as so often with you, not sure if we should meet or if one of would disappear into some sort of black hole). I have been thinking of doing this. Not sure why. I am fair, don't have much in the way of eyebrows but do have a friend whose eyebrows are simply beautiful who claims this is her secret. I haven't found anyone here though who can do it, and maybe this is not really the place to look!
Pondside said…
Every day I pass a sign at the side of the road advertising (and sometimes, I think, threatening) facial threading. I think I'll give it a pass!
Captain Black said…
Women and eyebrows. I am never going to understand.
her at home said…
ha men!!! Mine wouldnt notice either!
Fran said…
I've always watched this happening to women in the local department store and wondered how they had the guts to have it done in front of everyone. But, hey. Why not, I guess. I'd just hate to be the one who had to be there for an hour while everyone queued up.
I think my husband needs his done. I don't like bushy eyebrows.
Calico Kate said…
Excellant! Though I'm not going ANYWHERE near there, mine are virtually invisable and no-one is getting their mits on them! Just as well it is at least three hours to the nearest JL really!
As I am already a proud owner and current reader of TTT I won't click across.

PS To anyone thinking of reading TTT - DO! It's a lovely story.
Posie Rosie said…
Ouch, that sounded a bit of a painful operation Chris, but glad the results were well worth it. Loved the image of the small clump of daisies growing....what a lovely description!
Posie x
PS the book has arrived, just trying to quickly finish the book I am plodding through as I am really looking forward to reading it, plus the luxury of a new untouched paperback, such a change from the usual library books I seem to gather.
Posie x
Chris Stovell said…
Thank you, Sarah.

FP, might not be quite so brave in future now I know how much it stings... but then the results were amazing!

Milla, yes, pity it isn't everlasting... although it's a good job some of my previous hair-dos haven't been everlasting.

Fennie, I don't think the public are too worried about me or my eyebrows, but it's kind of you to say.

Lane, thanks you for ordering TTT... I hope you enjoy it eeeek!

JJ, it seems that you are already in the Beautiful Eyebrow Gang!

Debs, that's what I thought... until they started!!

Sally, I could get used to having the works every six weeks but it's a 200 mile round trip to Cardiff. will refrain from making comments about what is de-rigueur way out west here in case someone throws slurry at me.

It is a bit strange, isn't it, Elizabethm?! Will have to tell SBS & Mountainear to get ready to save one of us if we meet up! And no, you can't get away with being fair - those eyebrow ladies will get you anyway!!

Pondside... but you'll start thinking about it now!

Captain Black... yes but you have now had a sneaky peep into the inner workings of one woman's thinking about her eyebrows so you are now ahead of the male pack!

HAH, in the end I was glad. They were still quite red and throbby at the time and I did wonder if I was startling the good folks of Cardiff. Falsely reassured by Tom not noticing.

Fran, don't worry; I was so blinded by tears I couldn't tell if anyone was watching or not.

Rosie - go on. Do it when he's asleep. At least he won't notice when he wakes up!

Kate - very wise! And thank you for being so kind about TTT!

Posie Rosie - so good to see you about again and thank you very much for supporting TTT. I do hope you enjoy it.
Wizzard said…
In a way it is quite good that Tom didnt notice! if it was too obvious you might have been worried!

I have mine threaded (and the upper lip - oooo the involuntary tears for that!) - Threading is so much better for your skin than wax.
Wizzard said…
BTW, your book is fantastic - couldnt put it down once I had started. I even had to take time off work to read it :-))

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