I’m lying awake thinking of all the things that seem so frightening in the dark. Nothing honourable, alas, it’s nearly all self-preservation rather than world preservation. And it’s not as if fretting is going to make anything better; as I used to tell Lily and Rose, ‘Get it right, do it by light’ which is a rather crap way of trying to make them see that most of those night fears don’t look so big and scary during the day.
Anyway, I have an eye test coming up, and even though I have the best optometrist in the world, my dear friend Jill (who is also Optometrist To The Stars, since her practice is in a rather swanky part of Surrey – no don’t ask, my lips are sealed. All right, she did once arrange for me to be hanging around at the same time as a Famous Rock Star I’d had a huge crush on at school only Lily and Rose were with me and even though they were quite small, Rose said she would never talk to me again if I made an exhibition of myself.) I am still rather nervous. I’m very short-sighted with a wonky ‘blind’ spot, so Jill and I are always quite relieved when it’s over.
Once I’d had a good worry about bits of my body falling apart, I started on those of my nearest and dearest. Then I realised I couldn’t hear Tom breathing and had a fret that he might have died while I was worrying about myself. Fortunately, once I’d bounced around to wake him up, he did some huffing and puffing so I knew he was fine. Then I started on the children, wishing them all health, happiness and the means to pay a mortgage. Of course, that led to me thinking about all the worries I’d caused the girls. After Natasha Richardson’s tragic death, Rose was on the phone the next day telling me to, ‘NEVER, EVER go skiing again. And don’t let Tom, either!’. Then Lily sent me a text which read, ‘I’m worried that sailing couple who got kidnapped in Thailand will be you and Tom! As well as not skiing could you not go there if u ever do ur world sail x’
My final worry, as the dawn chorus got into full gear, was for Michelle Obama’s shoulders. Now I am a tough cookie, but I had a tear in my eye seeing her hug all the girls at Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School yesterday (so refreshing after Ms Bruni in her butter-wouldn’t-melt Christian Dior. Hmm, ‘nuff said). But, Michelle, please, if you are going to hug the world, mind your shoulders, believe me, you don’t want either of them to freeze!
And finally...
My urgent referral to a physio came through yesterday. No, they hadn’t forgotten me, but they’ve only just got on to the urgent referrals from December, so there was a bit of juggling to see me, a January referral! Unlike the consultants who can apparently see through clothing, the wonderful physio told me to take my jumper off and spotted the problem straight away. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘Good muscle tone this side. No muscle tone the other side.’ (Haven’t I been telling everyone I have one kimono arm?). Even better news is that he thinks he can sort it out for me and I don’t need surgery. Hurray. Well, at least my arm should be one thing that doesn’t keep me awake at night for much longer.
Image is 'Night Thoughts' by Tom Tomos
Stop press! Tom is working on a new 'affordable art' project. Further details to follow.
Comments
Glad to hear they will be able to help you with your shoulder without surgery.
1. What couple that got kidnapped in Thailand? and
2. I've just sent my daughter to Switzerland to ski... tonight.
Oh dear. Please worry for me tonight!
I'm glad you were able to see the physiotherapist. I have great faith in physios. The structure of the body is their business and they don't rely on drugs and surgery. My horrid back has been strong for nearly two years now - I have been doing the exercises prescribed by the physio on a regular basis. I'll bet your shoulder will improve rapidly.
I do hope the physiotherapy will be helpful, it has made such a difference to my husband.
Pip, at least your mate has lots of tranquil scenes and sewing ideas to talk about, my inner me is like some warty old witch, well, so the outer me, too really.
Debs, yes, shoulder news is good, phew!
JJ! Hope daughter has arrived in one piece and she has a great time.
Pondside, good news about your back. I'm certainly going to do the exercises like billy-yo - I just want to get over this now.
Faith, but you were doing altruistic sleeplessness - I was just feeling sorry for myself. Fingers crossed for your doves and well done.
Elizabeth, thanks. I'm so pleased to read about your husband's progress. Such good news.
SBS, we could do a few small hour kimono waving and bra twanging exercises!
Elizabethm, many thanks dear heart, I will certainly try.
Glad you are getting physio at last.
Could write lots more, but will refrain. As always, best wishes to you and to Tom whose paintings continue to remind me that I want to return to painting.
xo
I try not to watch the news - I think I'd be too scared to do anything and don't get me started about my teenager. Glad you got your eye appointment out of the way and that the physio was helpful.
CKx
Great news on not needing surgery for the shoulder.
xxPat
I was so very sad about Natasha Richardson too. I picked the newspaper off the doormat and read the headline ('Natasha Richardson 1963 - 2009') literally as I was walking out of the house to go off for 3 days' skiing. Not a great juxtaposition! I think what made it worse was that she was born in the same year as me so it hit home even more. One can't imagine what they've all been going through. 'There but for the Grace of God' echoes through my head as I go about my mundane daily business...
And talking of 'echoes', I was so sad too, watching the Grand National yesterday that the horse whose name we'd commented on at the beginning of the race as rather lovely i.e 'Hear the Echo' ran a blinder of a race, with a big weight on his back, then collapsed and died within sight of the winning post. A horse with a big heart whose physical heart actually couldn't take the pace or the weight he was carrying...
And, talking of 'Grace': I read your previous post, and you can ignore their scoffs over Jeff Buckley. Anyone who likes the Kinks clearly has no taste in music at all!! And I'm with your daughter on Keira Knightley. It could just be jealousy, but there is something about her which I do find indefinably annoying...!
Sounds like good news on the shoulder. And another fab picture by Tom.
Frances, thank you for your kind words, I've passed the painting comments on to Tom and look forwards to seeing more of your work.
Lampie, thanks - it is awful that problems seem so much worse at night.
Tam, don't open the door to any meter reader like that, will you? :)
Kate, yes not only do you have a bad night but to feel grizzley about it the next day rubs salt in the wound... hence my whiney post!
Pat, that is a very good idea, thank you... I've got some lavender oil somewhere which I'll dig out.
UPL.. yes, but does your virtual trainer twist your arm up your back, too?
Her on the Hill, Welcome! Not a nice feeling to read those headlines just as you were off. What a terrible shock for her family. Glad you are safe! Oh, gosh, the National, there's nothing like it is there? I mean there are so many stories around it which bring tears to my eyes but it was so sad that Hear the Echo didn't make it.
LBD, no I'm not usually here on a Friday, but I was just feeling grotty and sorry for myself and everyone has been so lovely and kind. Thank you for your comments about Tom's paintings which I will pass on too.
All the best with your eye test Chris and hurrah for no shoulder surgery!
Good news about the shoulder. I still giggle about kimono arms. Brilliant.
Lane, than you, too. Yes, distortion is the right word, it's not easy to get those thoughts in proportion.
Edward, yes, I'm pleased to be spared all the post op period as well. Physio's plan is to bukld up all the wasted muscles, with me doing quite a bit of weightlifting!
Kitty, I think what's missing is more running, then I'll be too tired to worry! Oh, and some weightlifting!
Flowerpot, there is a lot of 'separated at birth' stuff going on, isn't there?!