Four In the Morning
I’m lying awake thinking of all the things that seem so frightening in the dark. Nothing honourable, alas, it’s nearly all self-preservation rather than world preservation. And it’s not as if fretting is going to make anything better; as I used to tell Lily and Rose, ‘Get it right, do it by light’ which is a rather crap way of trying to make them see that most of those night fears don’t look so big and scary during the day.
Anyway, I have an eye test coming up, and even though I have the best optometrist in the world, my dear friend Jill (who is also Optometrist To The Stars, since her practice is in a rather swanky part of Surrey – no don’t ask, my lips are sealed. All right, she did once arrange for me to be hanging around at the same time as a Famous Rock Star I’d had a huge crush on at school only Lily and Rose were with me and even though they were quite small, Rose said she would never talk to me again if I made an exhibition of myself.) I am still rather nervous. I’m very short-sighted with a wonky ‘blind’ spot, so Jill and I are always quite relieved when it’s over.
Once I’d had a good worry about bits of my body falling apart, I started on those of my nearest and dearest. Then I realised I couldn’t hear Tom breathing and had a fret that he might have died while I was worrying about myself. Fortunately, once I’d bounced around to wake him up, he did some huffing and puffing so I knew he was fine. Then I started on the children, wishing them all health, happiness and the means to pay a mortgage. Of course, that led to me thinking about all the worries I’d caused the girls. After Natasha Richardson’s tragic death, Rose was on the phone the next day telling me to, ‘NEVER, EVER go skiing again. And don’t let Tom, either!’. Then Lily sent me a text which read, ‘I’m worried that sailing couple who got kidnapped in Thailand will be you and Tom! As well as not skiing could you not go there if u ever do ur world sail x’
My final worry, as the dawn chorus got into full gear, was for Michelle Obama’s shoulders. Now I am a tough cookie, but I had a tear in my eye seeing her hug all the girls at Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School yesterday (so refreshing after Ms Bruni in her butter-wouldn’t-melt Christian Dior. Hmm, ‘nuff said). But, Michelle, please, if you are going to hug the world, mind your shoulders, believe me, you don’t want either of them to freeze!
My urgent referral to a physio came through yesterday. No, they hadn’t forgotten me, but they’ve only just got on to the urgent referrals from December, so there was a bit of juggling to see me, a January referral! Unlike the consultants who can apparently see through clothing, the wonderful physio told me to take my jumper off and spotted the problem straight away. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘Good muscle tone this side. No muscle tone the other side.’ (Haven’t I been telling everyone I have one kimono arm?). Even better news is that he thinks he can sort it out for me and I don’t need surgery. Hurray. Well, at least my arm should be one thing that doesn’t keep me awake at night for much longer.
Image is 'Night Thoughts' by Tom Tomos
Stop press! Tom is working on a new 'affordable art' project. Further details to follow.