Skip to main content

Current Fantasy















The day begins with an invigorating half-hour run to rinse the brain cells and wake me up. Run like a gazelle and feel mighty and all-conquering.

Walk through the Valet-o-Meter and emerge ten minutes later, washed, clothed, bright of eye and dewy of complexion, glossy locks shining in the light.

Climb the winding stone steps to my fortified, sound-proofed study. Inform the bouncers that I am not to be disturbed except for lavish amounts of tea and essential nutrients, to include interesting biscuits (i.e. no dog biscuits aka bourbons) and a few squares of dark chocolate to help the creative juices along.

Approach my desk with its state of the art, everlasting, indestructible, never-known-to-throw-a-hissy-fit, never-jamming computer and printer.

Deal with internet correspondence in a crisp and efficient 20 mins, never once wandering over to the Daily Mail site to see what C list celebs up are to.

Work on current OU assignment and plan blinding ECA. Reward myself with a blast of Yeah, Yeah Yeahs or maybe a quick burst of something from my Spotify ‘guilty pleasures’ playlist (Three of a Kind’s ‘Babycakes’ being a hot fave).

After light lunch with Tom, return to study. Write 1000 words of WIP then throw myself on deep, comfy sofa for a good long read. Ah! Lovely!

Enjoy delicious meal prepared by Tom (that bit’s true, good old Tom). Compare notes on our productive days, sales figures etc. Switch on TV. Enjoy a couple of hours of stimulating, engaging and original drama, secure in the knowledge that the People Who Displease Me button is activated so there will be no disturbing appearances by Dawn French, Stephen Fry or Gordon Ramsey.

Walk through Valet-o-Meter which does all the boring stuff and tucks me up in freshly-laundered sheets. Fall into deep sleep beside gently-snoring Tom.

... Or maybe not. Here, in the Bedlam that Hotel H has become, another guest-filled day begins and the clock is ticking on the time I’ve snatched for a bit of study. Better make the most of it. Sigh.

Image is 'Sea, Sky, Early Heather' by Tom Tomos

Comments

Flowerpot said…
love the image, Chris - and your fantasy day made me laugh! Hope you manage to get a bit of studying done. Arent' guests lovely but exhausting?! How was the dentist?
Lane Mathias said…
Ah we share a common dream!

And dog biscuits are tastier than Bourbons. Believe me, I know:-)
Ivy said…
Want a Valet-o-meter and could do well with the rest like tea and biscuits, read cooked fresh meal and the computer doing as it is told.
Rustic Pumpkin said…
There is both method and real genius in the madness of not having room to accommodate guests!
Maggie Christie said…
'Run like a gazelle and feel mighty and all-conquering' is one of my favourite fantasies too! I love the idea of a Valet-o-Meter. Actually, I AM one of those myself to H and R. Good luck with the visitors. PLenty of wine all round, I'd say. xx PM
PS: Just had a mad moment and entered the ballot for the VLM 2010!
Edward said…
Fantastic picture - and your fantasy day sounds fine (though not the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, I'm afraid ;¬}) But Bourbons as dog biscuits? Pshaw.
Milla said…
bourbons are foul. as are wafer biscuits. golly, actually agree with E over music for once and will say thanks but etc to yeah yeah yeahs. adore the idea of the valet o meter, have closed door on bedroom for same reason. do not envy you the guests. not AGAIN!
Frances said…
Hello Chris,

There is much to admire in your fantasy ... sometimes when I am on the NYC subway train (standing, because there is no seat available,) I often engage in where would I rather be musings. Almost missed my own stop recently, so deep in the musing was I.

Tom's painting is very fine!

Thank you for your perceptive comments. I was raised in a culture that encouraged keeping thoughts inside, and have spent lots of years trying to break that pattern.

xo
Pondside said…
I'd like to put my name in for a valet-o-meter, please.
Our house bulges at the seams each weekend, and the coming summer promises family-from-away. I may dig a den in the woods, cover it with leaves and retreat often.
Can I have a day like this one too please? I am particularly struck by the run and the valet o meter, beats my hunching over the computer and wearing of yet another ancient pair of jeans and fleece.
good luck with the visitors.
Un Peu Loufoque said…
when you find this nirvana you dream of send me co ordiantes please it sounds ideal!
Chris Stovell said…
FP, Thanks, I did manage a bit, but not without a quck peep at C list celebs. Escaped from the dentist in one piece though (must be a first!).

Lane, I shall take your word for it (unless severly biscuit-challenged!).

Ivy, the dream's there, just not quite sure how to put it together - a few practical issues, like getting my contact lenses removed rather than my eyeballs.

CH, yes, I think that is our next cunning plan - good tip!

PM... hmm, perhaps we could come up with a design based on an All Purpose Mummy? HUGE WELL DONE YOU for entering ballot for LM!

Edward, you and Milla. Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs? Crazy, shouty - what's not to love?

Milla - glad that you share my taste in biscuits (well, at a distant - could be all out war close up if there's a scrap over the Jammy Dodgers.). Yes again - but see CH's cunning plan.

Frances, thanks for all, but that, I think, too is the the secret of your beautiful writing; that slight sense of reticence makes it all the more intriguing.

Pondside - wizzard idea!! A den in the woods covered with leaves - I think UPL and I might be up for that too!

Elizabethm, I don't call walking Offa's Dyke hunching over the computer! Besides, you're allowed to wear ancient jeans after hanging up your suit.
UPL, yes, still searching for that elusive thinking place... shall we go and live in the hole at the bottom of Pondside's garden?
Pat Posner said…
Love your fantasy day, Chris.
Also love Tom's painting.
Pipany said…
I like that dream Chris. Hope you are managing to grit teeth and get your essays done xx
I think I would rather the ECA than TMA05 - big sigh.
So you have found Spotify as well - great innit - I have some real music belting out now - Springstein, Fleetwood mac, Michael Bolton - you should hear me singing - well perhaps you shouldn't - off back to chewing the end of a pen!
Fennie said…
Now - I have a number of questions: where do I buy a Valet-o-meter? And how do you have the energy to run before breakfast? How do you write in the afternoons? How do you find time for reading during the day - and on a sofa at that. You never know you may have valuable commercial secrets here.
BT said…
Well, was I the only one taken in by this 'fantasy' day? I was thinking how marvellous, a bit confused by the valet-o-meter I have to say! Oh what a shame, it was all a dream. Sigh. One day Chris, one day. I like custard creams, and hob nobs and digestives and and an
CHOCOLATE.
Lovely, lovely images, Chris. You mean your life's not really like that? Know what you mean about dog biscuits - my dog does actually eat bourbons (and I have to admit, so do I occasionally - usually when I find I've already scoffed all the remaining ginger nuts and Choco Liebnitz). Love the idea of a 'people who displease me' button. Think I may inject that fantasy into my own life - a gadget to be carried around James-Bond-style for use at Parish Council meetings and on Cubs nights.
Cait O'Connor said…
You fooled me there Chris right to the end.

I hadn't heard about U A Fanthorpe, that is sad news.
Sally Townsend said…
That made me LOL, I loved your comment MaccyD, oh yes I'm up for a bit of 'quality time ' too or is that 'me time', either way I never seem to get either, sniff.
You had me fooled to the end - clever people you writers!
Thank you for your comment on my fledgling blog.
Chris Stovell said…
Pat, thanks for the comment about Tom's painting, I'll pass it on.

Pip, V happy tonight as got stonking mark for previous assignment which has spurred me on.

SBS, I'll listen to you belting out if you listen to me... then we'll award marks... or shall we put it to an OU forum?

Ah, Fennie, come to the next meeting of the welshie-Welsh contigent and I shall share the wisdomosity of my beautiful life. Hark, I hear the Valet-O-Meter whirring into life as it prepares to receive me...

BT, you are a woman with excellent taste in biscuits as well as a very fine garden.

LBD, I don't think you need that button, now that WWFMTDWW has resigned and Akela has backed down. Well done... dare I ask you to pass me a ginger nut?

Cait, yes it was sad news - I wonder if she knew about Carol Ann Duffy.

Sally, would you like to join me and UPL in the hole in Pondside's garden? It's not as swishy as whizzing along with the hood down, but we know from Pondside's goats that we will be looked after nicely.

Cottage Garden, welcome and good luck with your delightful blog.
Tamsyn Murray said…
When are you going on Dragon's Den with the Valet-O-Meter? I'll be advocate for that, if you like :-)
Elizabethd said…
Looked for e mail link, couldnt find one, so in reply to your question.........simply because I grew up there and love it!
I need a TMA-o-meter. It's getting hot in there isn't it?
I believed you too, for a bit at least.

I've told R that as soon as I make/find/beg some money, I'm definately having to buy one of Tom's perfect paintings.
Chris Stovell said…
Tam, groovy, I'm sure you'd be able to persuade the Dragons to back us!

Elizabethd, thanks for replying. That explains it!

Fiona, good thinking - it's getting scarily busy now, isn't it!

Debs, thank you, that will cheer Tom up.
Calico Kate said…
Excellant!
Have a large Whiskery and go to bed!
CKx

Popular posts from this blog

Happy Endings, New Beginnings

Blended families come with conflicting loyalties and at Christmas time nearly everyone has somewhere else they feel they ought to be. Throw partners into the equation and it gets even more complicated. Since Tom and I aren’t especially hung up about Christmas we’re happy to let our children go with the strongest flow, but I have to say it was a great delight to have the girls and their partners staying with us this year. When such moments are few and far between they become very precious. My stepsons weren’t far from our thoughts either, not least because we had the very happy news on Christmas Day that my elder stepson and his girlfriend had become engaged. Congratulations Dan and Gill, here’s wishing you every happiness together. Tom and I end a year that has seen the fruition of many years work, both of us crossing important thresholds within weeks of each other. I’m really looking forwards to seeing Turning the Tide published next year and it’s been so satisfying, after al...

Fly Free, Dottie Do

‘How many days to my birthday?’ Ma asks. I do a quick calculation. ‘Eighteen,’ I reply. ‘Eighteen days until your ninetieth birthday.’ Ma pulls a face and shakes her head. Every sentence is hard work for her now, when each breath is a struggle. ‘You’ll have to write a book about this, you know,’ she says, with one of her quick, mischievous smiles. ‘“Carry On Dying”. Make ‘em laugh, make ‘em cry.’ The smile fades. ‘Who knew,’ she adds wearily, ‘that dying would be such a palaver?’  It’s only eleven days since Ma was diagnosed with a high-grade, aggressive lymphoma, four days since she was overwhelmed with pain and breathing difficulties and was admitted as an emergency to hospital. Until a few weeks ago, she lived completely independently; shopping, cooking, cleaning and tending her much-loved garden. The deterioration in her health is shockingly rapid. The eight days preceding her death are a living hell, a constant battle with the ward staff to get Ma the pain relief she’s been p...

Since You've Been Gone

Well, Ma Mère, There have been so many times when I’ve gathered up all the little shiny moments I’ve collected during the day, ready to present to you in our evening phone call and then I remember all over again that you’re not there. But, Mum, so much has happened since you’ve gone - maybe you know, maybe you don’t - that I’ve decided to write to you instead.  A few days after you died, we sold our house! After all those months! We even joked about you rattling cages somewhere. At first, nothing happened and then suddenly everything happened at a breathless pace and the next thing I knew I found myself driving (yes, me, driving!) along the M4 to Bridgend and the Time Capsule House, the one you said you and Dad would have bought. I remarked, when we first viewed it that if it was meant for us, it would come to us. Over a year later, when it had been under offer twice, we moved in. Oh, Mum, you and Dad would have loved this house; it’s peak Seventies and the decor - the pampas ensu...