Current Fantasy

The day begins with an invigorating half-hour run to rinse the brain cells and wake me up. Run like a gazelle and feel mighty and all-conquering.

Walk through the Valet-o-Meter and emerge ten minutes later, washed, clothed, bright of eye and dewy of complexion, glossy locks shining in the light.

Climb the winding stone steps to my fortified, sound-proofed study. Inform the bouncers that I am not to be disturbed except for lavish amounts of tea and essential nutrients, to include interesting biscuits (i.e. no dog biscuits aka bourbons) and a few squares of dark chocolate to help the creative juices along.

Approach my desk with its state of the art, everlasting, indestructible, never-known-to-throw-a-hissy-fit, never-jamming computer and printer.

Deal with internet correspondence in a crisp and efficient 20 mins, never once wandering over to the Daily Mail site to see what C list celebs up are to.

Work on current OU assignment and plan blinding ECA. Reward myself with a blast of Yeah, Yeah Yeahs or maybe a quick burst of something from my Spotify ‘guilty pleasures’ playlist (Three of a Kind’s ‘Babycakes’ being a hot fave).

After light lunch with Tom, return to study. Write 1000 words of WIP then throw myself on deep, comfy sofa for a good long read. Ah! Lovely!

Enjoy delicious meal prepared by Tom (that bit’s true, good old Tom). Compare notes on our productive days, sales figures etc. Switch on TV. Enjoy a couple of hours of stimulating, engaging and original drama, secure in the knowledge that the People Who Displease Me button is activated so there will be no disturbing appearances by Dawn French, Stephen Fry or Gordon Ramsey.

Walk through Valet-o-Meter which does all the boring stuff and tucks me up in freshly-laundered sheets. Fall into deep sleep beside gently-snoring Tom.

... Or maybe not. Here, in the Bedlam that Hotel H has become, another guest-filled day begins and the clock is ticking on the time I’ve snatched for a bit of study. Better make the most of it. Sigh.

Image is 'Sea, Sky, Early Heather' by Tom Tomos


Flowerpot said…
love the image, Chris - and your fantasy day made me laugh! Hope you manage to get a bit of studying done. Arent' guests lovely but exhausting?! How was the dentist?
Lane said…
Ah we share a common dream!

And dog biscuits are tastier than Bourbons. Believe me, I know:-)
Ivy said…
Want a Valet-o-meter and could do well with the rest like tea and biscuits, read cooked fresh meal and the computer doing as it is told.
Celtic Heart said…
There is both method and real genius in the madness of not having room to accommodate guests!
Preseli Mags said…
'Run like a gazelle and feel mighty and all-conquering' is one of my favourite fantasies too! I love the idea of a Valet-o-Meter. Actually, I AM one of those myself to H and R. Good luck with the visitors. PLenty of wine all round, I'd say. xx PM
PS: Just had a mad moment and entered the ballot for the VLM 2010!
Edward said…
Fantastic picture - and your fantasy day sounds fine (though not the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, I'm afraid ;¬}) But Bourbons as dog biscuits? Pshaw.
Milla said…
bourbons are foul. as are wafer biscuits. golly, actually agree with E over music for once and will say thanks but etc to yeah yeah yeahs. adore the idea of the valet o meter, have closed door on bedroom for same reason. do not envy you the guests. not AGAIN!
Frances said…
Hello Chris,

There is much to admire in your fantasy ... sometimes when I am on the NYC subway train (standing, because there is no seat available,) I often engage in where would I rather be musings. Almost missed my own stop recently, so deep in the musing was I.

Tom's painting is very fine!

Thank you for your perceptive comments. I was raised in a culture that encouraged keeping thoughts inside, and have spent lots of years trying to break that pattern.

Pondside said…
I'd like to put my name in for a valet-o-meter, please.
Our house bulges at the seams each weekend, and the coming summer promises family-from-away. I may dig a den in the woods, cover it with leaves and retreat often.
elizabethm said…
Can I have a day like this one too please? I am particularly struck by the run and the valet o meter, beats my hunching over the computer and wearing of yet another ancient pair of jeans and fleece.
good luck with the visitors.
Un Peu Loufoque said…
when you find this nirvana you dream of send me co ordiantes please it sounds ideal!
ChrisH said…
FP, Thanks, I did manage a bit, but not without a quck peep at C list celebs. Escaped from the dentist in one piece though (must be a first!).

Lane, I shall take your word for it (unless severly biscuit-challenged!).

Ivy, the dream's there, just not quite sure how to put it together - a few practical issues, like getting my contact lenses removed rather than my eyeballs.

CH, yes, I think that is our next cunning plan - good tip!

PM... hmm, perhaps we could come up with a design based on an All Purpose Mummy? HUGE WELL DONE YOU for entering ballot for LM!

Edward, you and Milla. Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs? Crazy, shouty - what's not to love?

Milla - glad that you share my taste in biscuits (well, at a distant - could be all out war close up if there's a scrap over the Jammy Dodgers.). Yes again - but see CH's cunning plan.

Frances, thanks for all, but that, I think, too is the the secret of your beautiful writing; that slight sense of reticence makes it all the more intriguing.

Pondside - wizzard idea!! A den in the woods covered with leaves - I think UPL and I might be up for that too!

Elizabethm, I don't call walking Offa's Dyke hunching over the computer! Besides, you're allowed to wear ancient jeans after hanging up your suit.
UPL, yes, still searching for that elusive thinking place... shall we go and live in the hole at the bottom of Pondside's garden?
Pat Posner said…
Love your fantasy day, Chris.
Also love Tom's painting.
Pipany said…
I like that dream Chris. Hope you are managing to grit teeth and get your essays done xx
I think I would rather the ECA than TMA05 - big sigh.
So you have found Spotify as well - great innit - I have some real music belting out now - Springstein, Fleetwood mac, Michael Bolton - you should hear me singing - well perhaps you shouldn't - off back to chewing the end of a pen!
Fennie said…
Now - I have a number of questions: where do I buy a Valet-o-meter? And how do you have the energy to run before breakfast? How do you write in the afternoons? How do you find time for reading during the day - and on a sofa at that. You never know you may have valuable commercial secrets here.
BT said…
Well, was I the only one taken in by this 'fantasy' day? I was thinking how marvellous, a bit confused by the valet-o-meter I have to say! Oh what a shame, it was all a dream. Sigh. One day Chris, one day. I like custard creams, and hob nobs and digestives and and an
LittleBrownDog said…
Lovely, lovely images, Chris. You mean your life's not really like that? Know what you mean about dog biscuits - my dog does actually eat bourbons (and I have to admit, so do I occasionally - usually when I find I've already scoffed all the remaining ginger nuts and Choco Liebnitz). Love the idea of a 'people who displease me' button. Think I may inject that fantasy into my own life - a gadget to be carried around James-Bond-style for use at Parish Council meetings and on Cubs nights.
Cait O'Connor said…
You fooled me there Chris right to the end.

I hadn't heard about U A Fanthorpe, that is sad news.
Sally's Chateau said…
That made me LOL, I loved your comment MaccyD, oh yes I'm up for a bit of 'quality time ' too or is that 'me time', either way I never seem to get either, sniff.
Cottage Garden said…
You had me fooled to the end - clever people you writers!
Thank you for your comment on my fledgling blog.
ChrisH said…
Pat, thanks for the comment about Tom's painting, I'll pass it on.

Pip, V happy tonight as got stonking mark for previous assignment which has spurred me on.

SBS, I'll listen to you belting out if you listen to me... then we'll award marks... or shall we put it to an OU forum?

Ah, Fennie, come to the next meeting of the welshie-Welsh contigent and I shall share the wisdomosity of my beautiful life. Hark, I hear the Valet-O-Meter whirring into life as it prepares to receive me...

BT, you are a woman with excellent taste in biscuits as well as a very fine garden.

LBD, I don't think you need that button, now that WWFMTDWW has resigned and Akela has backed down. Well done... dare I ask you to pass me a ginger nut?

Cait, yes it was sad news - I wonder if she knew about Carol Ann Duffy.

Sally, would you like to join me and UPL in the hole in Pondside's garden? It's not as swishy as whizzing along with the hood down, but we know from Pondside's goats that we will be looked after nicely.

Cottage Garden, welcome and good luck with your delightful blog.
Tam said…
When are you going on Dragon's Den with the Valet-O-Meter? I'll be advocate for that, if you like :-)
Elizabethd said…
Looked for e mail link, couldnt find one, so in reply to your question.........simply because I grew up there and love it!
Fiona said…
I need a TMA-o-meter. It's getting hot in there isn't it?
Debs said…
I believed you too, for a bit at least.

I've told R that as soon as I make/find/beg some money, I'm definately having to buy one of Tom's perfect paintings.
ChrisH said…
Tam, groovy, I'm sure you'd be able to persuade the Dragons to back us!

Elizabethd, thanks for replying. That explains it!

Fiona, good thinking - it's getting scarily busy now, isn't it!

Debs, thank you, that will cheer Tom up.
Calico Kate said…
Have a large Whiskery and go to bed!

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