Wednesday, 14 April 2010
An Emotional Day
Yesterday started on an emotional note; I’d finally caught up with Saturday’s Guardian magazine whilst making an early morning cup of tea (visitors have been arriving in droves at Hotel H since the middle of March. It’s been lovely to catch up with everyone, but it’s been quite tricky trying to fit everything in). Then I turned to ‘Saying goodbye with my camera’, Briony Campbell's moving record of her father’s death from pancreatic cancer and just couldn’t hold back the tears – it was just like saying goodbye to my own dad again and brought back so many memories.
Maybe I should be ‘over it’, (and a few regular readers of this blog will probably think, ‘God! Here she goes again!’). But I honestly don’t think time is a healer. It feels as if Dad’s been away too long and I just wish I could talk to him. Quite simply, there’s a huge hole left in my life that can never be filled and I just try not to fall in it too often.
Anyway, I pushed the tea past the lump in my throat, said hello to the guests and got on with some work. Then a message from my publishers popped into my inbox... and there was the PDF of ‘Turning the Tide’. So what? You might think. That’s what I would have thought and yet it just seemed to elevate my typescript into, well, a real book. It was a truly thrilling moment. I had another howl then rushed round the house summoning folks to admire it – I just wish my dad could have been here to see it too.