My OU work is really stacking up now with two assignments and the crucial end-of-course assessment to complete in less than ten weeks. I suppose the reason I’m feeling under pressure is because I want to do well. I’ve worked far harder at this than I ever did during my BA (the usual distractions) and I’ve been really chuffed with my results. Since I’d established some writing credentials before embarking on this course, a few people looked at me askance when I told them I was studying for a Diploma in Creative Writing, but I wanted to try new areas and push myself outside my comfort zone and that’s exactly what I’ve done. The poetry section was especially rewarding and even if my poetry never sees the light of day, I know it’s something I’ll continue with.
As for writing outside my comfort zone, well, the current module, life writing, certainly takes care of that. The furore over Julie Myerson’s, ‘The Lost Child’, which blew up just as I started the module, was a timely reminder of how easy it is to eat your own life. I think I’ve come perilously close to invading my daughters’ privacy in the past. They say not, and I’m grateful for that, but even so it’s made me think very carefully about the price of a good story.
The ingredients of my writing are inevitably taken from my own life and my own interactions, but, with fiction, they’ve been blended, filtered and left to develop into something that is not about me. The life writing module has felt very raw; Virginia Woolf writes about life being a bowl that ‘one fills and fills and fills’. With some of the exercises mine’s felt more like a leaky plastic bag full of water; every time I press it some horrid or painful memory gushes out! For the sake of my tutor, who has to read this stuff, I’ve been trying to find something a little more upbeat to write about for my next assignment, but so far it’s all very dark. The last time I looked I thought I’d had a very happy life, so why do I keep poking around in the depressing bits?
And finally...
Whilst my blog is a form of life writing, I do try not to devour everyone around me but here are some real-life achievements worth marking.
• Tom is now exhibiting with Real Artists, an online gallery who work with a small group of carefully selected artists.
• A friend, G, came to stay with us last week. Well, nothing unusual about that, except that G, who was put up for adoption shortly after his birth, has learning difficulties and made the long journey here by himself, as far as he could, on public transport. G has no family of his own, but, through Mil and Dil, has become one of Tom’s extended family. G has fewer people than most to praise or console him, but has just celebrated twenty-five years working for the same large supermarket. The occasion was marked with a posh award and a ceremony. No mean achievement for someone who started off so alone – well done, G, we’re proud of you.
• I’m also bursting with pride for my lovely Rose, who, after a bit of administrative to-ing and fro-ing after her original assessment centre disappeared, has finally received her Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award. Working through the awards took Rose to all kinds of places with challenging and demanding tasks and I know how much effort and determination it took for her to reach her goal. Rose has very kindly invited me to attend the award ceremony with her, we don’t know when it is but I do know I shall be a very proud mummy that day!
Image is 'Half a Mile Off' by Tom Tomos
Comments
lx
(ooh that sounds all deep and like I am hinting at something doesn't it????)
Talking about BA distractions, I worked far harder for my Masters (in my 30s) than I did at uni. I think everyone should be forced to go straight out into the working world for a few years, then come back to do the degree. There'd be far less faffing around wouldn't there?
I worked far harder doing my post grad stuff in my thirties too. Was far too busy having a good time when I was twenty!
My son is considering going to university, having worked since leaving 6th form college apart from 2 terms at Uni on a course he was ill advised to join. I wish he'd shown the enthusiasm he's showing now.
Once again, your home thoughts have provides us with the starting point for doing some of our own thinking.
Thank you Chris.
xo
x
JJ, Well done your son. Rose gots loads out of it so it's worth doing.
Pip, I simply refuse to believe that you have a dark side!
EPM, quite right. End the faffing about! No, you're right, it does make a huge difference when you want to study something.
FP, it's weird though - I keep planning to write something happy and another dark memory pops up.
Elizabeth, thank you - I hope so but there are times when it's easy to get carried away with your own 'craft' at which point you have to take a step back.
Mountainear, thanks. I'm sure your son will do very well on his chosen course; it's too easy at 18ish to go through the sausage machine when you're not really sure of what you want to do.
LBD, thank you, that makes me feel much better since you have read some of my life writing. Phew!
Muddyboots, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Frances, how kind of you to say that.
Lane, hello dear heart, good to hear from you, you sound v.busy at the moment so thanks for dropping by.
Well done to those clever folks.
CKx
Congrats to your Rose and G - way to go!!!! You are both stars!
It is hard to know where to draw the line. I wonder whether readers assume even the non-autobiographical bits are real?
Edward, wow! Thank you.
Kate, yes, I think you would find it interesting.
Fennie, ah, but you don't know what we're roasting for Sunday lunch today.
Pondside, actually it's a bit like that here too! Thanks for the
reassurance.
Cheryl, welcome. I see from your blog that you've had some life writing matters to consider too.
Amanda, thank you; it's interesting to hear that... I'm finding this the toughest TMA so far so it's good to hear from someone who's been there.
Tam, thanks for popping by when you've got so much going on... eek! I hope my readers don't think my fiction is autobiographical!!
So gld the OU course is working well for you!
Having seen life as a single mum, trying to include uni and staying focused for 2 children, I know it is hard, but I think we all gained positively from it. I can say that now...
And the gut wrenching pain and sorrow that gave me sleepless nights and nightmares has passed into distant memories.From that has emerged my 2, who are much more grounded and forgiving of other people's problems than many people twice their age.
You see, that's why I don't write, 'leaky bag syndrome'
Jude, it sounds as if you have worked really hard to get it together... as for not writing, ahem, I think you have just given us a beautifully succint snapshot of life writing!