The Fat Boys and WAGs at Hotel H

Imagine hosting a six-day party/activity holiday and you will have some idea of how I feel today. In short, dear reader, I am absolutely EXHAUSTED. I feel the way babies do when they’re too worn out to sleep and just grizzle but, hey, the sun is shining and apart from Scary Welsh Class tonight (no, Chris, don’t think about it or you’ll start grizzling too) I have nothing to do. Oops, rewind, Tom has just told me that he has boat plans for this afternoon… that means yours truly now has boat plans for this afternoon. I thought the free time was too good to be true.

Anyway, the hectic activity of the last six days has been brought about by the arrival of the Fat Boys and WAGs at Hotel H. The Fat Boys are Tom’s equivalent of my Ace Gang. They’re a bunch of his former colleagues who used to regularly roam ridiculously long stretches of the country in stupidly small amounts of time on mountain bikes. Unlike the lean, Lycra-clad cyclists who do the Tour de France, the Fat Boys are a strapping band of blokes who buy their clothes from shops like ‘High and Mighty’ and ‘Mr Big’. Every time one of them sits down I’m reminded of the exhibit in Ikea designed to show you what a pounding their chairs can take – only in this case I fear that my lovely leather Poang is about to splinter into a pile of matchsticks.

Over the last six days, various combinations of Fat Boys have walked, cycled, climbed hills and sailed. All this exercise has been fuelled by a small mountain of food and a not so small beer and wine lake. A good time has certainly been had by all but I’m quite glad that the prolonged bout of carousing into the wee small hours and constant rounds of ‘Does anyone want another….?’ has stopped for now (she says, looking at the diary and seeing that every weekend for the rest of May is booked up!).

Actually, I did get a couple of hours off yesterday morning when I missed a sailing trip due to a prior engagement at the hairdresser’s. Llinos took one look at my trembling hands and little piggy eyes and sat me down with non-stop tea and a pile of trashy mags. Bliss! In the process I was also surprised to discover I’d gone from gingery/ blonde to rich copper brown. It looks brilliant but, alas, is bound to fade in no time at all.

So, as the last Fat Boy roars off on his big beast of a motorbike, I am left with time on my hands – except, of course, that due to the vagaries of the tide, the boat is twenty miles down the coast and needs to be collected… so I am duly press-ganged into crewing. But, never mind, the sun’s out, the sea’s calm… and I get to miss Scary Welsh Class!

PS. I’m really missing writing! I posted FTT the same day the first of the Fat Boys arrived so haven’t really had a chance to say goodbye to it. Definitely time to get back in the saddle.

PPS. Very disappointed that Clocks single ‘Old Valve Radio’ has failed to chart so far and can’t help but think that the record company issuing three different release dates and then going back to one they first thought of couldn’t have helped the launch much. Ho hum, what do I know? It’s no secret that I love a good old miseryfest musically but Stepson Two’s summery music is perfect for singing along to in the car with the sunroof open so here’s hoping that the album, when it comes out, will bring Clocks the success they deserve.

Painting is 'Tide Out - Tenby' by Tom Tomos


DevonLife said…
Oh Chris don't get me started about speaking Welsh! Am caught in the middle of a protest by the WLS! Actually they make loads of sense and we're going to do all we can to make changes in my client's shops to ensure Welsh speakers are looked after. Tried to say my nannan and granddad were Welsh... but fell down when I admitted all they ever taught me was "welcome to wales it's lovely" or something.

So go to your Scary Welsh class and when I need any translating done I'll be in touch!
Milla said…
what a pugger about the boys and the band. E was in a nearly successful band once, most played song on R1 and all that but the record co completely screwed them over. Maddening. I'M still waiting for Clocks CD!!
Wow you have had an exhausting time - how often do they visit? You need rest and ME time.

Sorry to hear Clocks haven't quite made it yet - but they have the talent and the support it is just a matter of time.
liz fenwick said…
I'm exhausted just reading your post! The break from writing will give you perspective :-)
Flowerpot said…
I know just how you feel Chris - i have my sister in law over for 3 weeks (from America) and while it's lovely it's very exhausting when yuo're tired to start off with! Still, when you ahve time to get back to writing you will feel all the more refreshed. Best of luck to Clocks.
Debs said…
Phew, you make my day sound positively relaxing.

Sorry to hear about Clocks, I shall look out for their CD as they sound great.
Preseli Mags said…
I loved your description of the Fat Boys and your poor Poang - I hope it survived!

I'm sure Clocks will take off soon - it is summery music and perfect for days like the last few we have enjoyed here.
I what good times you have had and how bare your larder must now be...not to mention the cellar of course!!

Love Painting reminds me of a Bernard Buffet architectural painting but more colourful!
LittleBrownDog said…
You make Hotel H sound very hospitable - I'm on my way. Funnily enough, I too was transformed from a gingery blonde to a - well, not quite rich coppery brown, but something sort of halfway in between. It's always a good morale-boost to have one's roots done, I find.

Sorry about Clocks not making the charts this time. I can't help thinking these things must be something of a lottery, and there must be so many variables. The next one will make it, though, and then the radio song will have to be re-released to glorious acclaim at some future point. Fabulous painting, Chris - love it!
Zinnia Cyclamen said…
Fingers very firmly crossed for FTT. And, yes, make a start on the next one - or write some short stories - keep those muscles toned!!
Hi Chris,

So sorry to hear about CLOCKS, they are bound to take off soon, wishing them all the very best for the future.

Sounds as if you have had an exhausting time Chris, hope you get some rest, but dont give up with your writing, keep those fingers going on PC.

Love Camilla.xx
Tattie Weasle said…
I love the calm after a storm, I think it is the perfect time to get on with things...if ever I have the energy!!!!
PS Still crossing fingers for Clocks and looking forward to being able to get a CD!
Exmoorjane said…
A whirlwind by the sound of it....I like hte Fat Boys too. I fear music biz is like book biz -both horribly unpredictable and not always fair. But keep the faith on all counts - believe it and it will happen (well, sometimes it's good to have a New Age moment). And promise won't mention the R word! jxx
(I am very proud of my welsh btw - I can say 'that's disgusting' and 'fair enough' and 'what ugly people!' and 'I'm off to the loo' which is, you have to admit, a good starting point.)
elizabethm said…
Oh missed this one somehow Chris. I like the sound of your fat boys, but must be lovely when they go. Why is your welsh class getting scary? you must be getting to the advanced stage. mine has returned to being sited in the local pub which somehow makes it much less scary than when it was in the cafe.
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